have not been here in a while

i have not written in a long time. probably because i don't have anything positive to say lately. i am annoyed by alot of things that i can't control in my life that i just can't write about. the only good thing i guess is that my family is healthy and i love them alot. and the fact that i am losing weight... that is very fun. i tried on all my jeans and i can finally fit into alot of them again. i have alot of nice clothes and i refuse to buy anymore because i would like to wear all of the older ones before i got pregnant. so that is that. i have been doing weight watchers and i am successful with it. i won't do any jumping for joy until my clothes fit me perfectly again. olivia just had a birthday party and my sister saw me and made a comment on me losing weight. she asked me if i was starving myself. that made me happy that someone else noticed. i am working so hard at it too. i am eating right and trying my damnest to workout. i was walking alot and now that it's cold i have to stay in. because it's not good for olivia to be out in the cold everyday. so i am looking into finding a new workout routine. my hubby is gone with the car all of the time and since we only have one car i don't get to workout as much. i was walking at the mall everyday when donny was working. and when got laid off it was cut in half because he wanted to join me in alot of activities so i didn't have that time to myself... which has made me one bitchy lady. now he takes his nieces and nephew to and from school everyday so my workout routine went down the damn toilet. sometimes when he gets home i still go to the mall but our funds don't allow me to do it everyday. so that is why i started walking all over like 3 to 4 miles a day. now that is cold i am going to workout twice a day and eat very little. man i am determined to get into all of my clothes and i am almost there. i don't think that i am fat i was just in great shape from dancing and working out all of the time. man i miss those days. i would go to dance class all of the time and went to the gym to do aerobics. wow... i was obsessed by the way i looked. and i am still like that. i am not happy on the inside unless i look good from the outside. and that may sound awful but who cares. who really feels good about themselves walking around looking like crap all day everyday. and the fact that i am a wife and a mother makes it so hard to put myself first and it's so easy to let things go. so that is whats going on in my life. i will be happier once i hit my goal weight and once i can finish school so i can make more money. :O)