Olivia's school project

Today Olivia and I went to the fabric store to get supplies for her Thanksgiving project on being thankful. She had to make a quilt and put things on it that she is thankful for. She is such a sweet little girl and my favorite things that she mentioned were having a bed to sleep in and having food to eat. That made me proud of her because she has a lot of material things and she didn't mention one of them. I am very thankful for my family and where we've come from these past few years. We went Christmas shopping over the weekend with such ease, not worring about money. Two Christmas's ago Donny was laid off and his unemployment ended right before Christmas. I held in my disappointment as long as I could and I broke down on my cell phone to my mother in the grocery store. All I could think about was my little girl not having any Christmas presents. Everything worked out but in the moment I paniced with the uncertantity of what was to happen next.

CUT UP MATERIAL

ORGANIZED THE MATERIAL

MADE SURE WE HAD A GOOD PATTERN

FINALLY FINISHED

Santa picture

Went to the mall to take pictures with santa :)

Busy day

Today the hubby and I went a little Christmas shopping. We went to a couple of places today and enjoyed a little time together. We bought the kids twinkies also because the company that makes them are going out of business. When we were done shopping picked Olivia up from schooln went home, and I cooked spaghetti for the family. We were going to go to the mall but the kids are tired and if they are out late then that makes them super cranky the next day. So my inlaws are coming over to hook up my new dishwasher my hubby bought me. I will write later and post pictures of my new dishwasher. :)

Its saturday morning

My hubby bought me a phone that has access to all my media accounts. I can get on twitter, facebook, and I can write in my blog from my phone. So this is my first post using my cell phone. Last night I went to zumba class while he watched the girls and I was the happiest ever. I've been telling him that I needed a day when I can do something without the kids but for months I haven't done anything. So I scheduled a time to go to zumba class with an old friend and it was amazing. The zumba instructor was awesome, she kicked our butts. And after class they always take a group picture of everyone looking a sweaty mess. I tried to pose and look extra cute. LOL

Ok I'm going to make french toast for the girls for this Saturday morning. Olivia woke me up saying, "mommy it's french toast day. Here is a picture from zumba class last night

it's 12am and today is election day

i am so nervous about this election i am not sleeping at the moment. i am voting for the president for the second time because i still believe in all the things he spoke of in 2008. i am hoping and praying that he wins again. i went to church and i prayed for obama, i have been praying for obama for the past months, and i have been praying for obama all day today. i kept my paper the day after the election when he won and i would so love to post another picture of another paper declaring him as THE WINNER.

here is a picture of the three of us right before donny went to work in 2008. we are wearing obama shirts and olivia was just a baby. we were so happy and full of hope and change for a better america.

i am going to try to get a little sleep. when my hubby gets in today we are going to go vote. olivia wants to be in the voting process too. she told me, "I WANT TO VOTE FOR A-ROCK OBAMA". LOL this is a very important election for our country, please GOD IN HEAVEN SHED YOUR GRACE ON OBAMA FOR HIS VICTORY

would like something for me

i'm not in the greatest mood right now. i am just so annnoyed with putting myself last. i am tired, smelly, and i want to be left the eff alone right now. i am too tired to work out, i need to take a shower, get the laundry done, wash the dishes. i would love to run away from life for at least a week and not look back. but if i did that i would break my little girls hearts. they could cry for me in the middle night and i would be gone. i do so much but i never get any time for myself. i took olivia to school this morning and went back to bed when i got home. thank god sofia slept in or i would of had an emotional break down. last week was so hard to get through and this week just started and i don't want to go through with it. stupid me wanted to be a volunteer for olivia's halloween party. i signed up because it meant so much to her. i went from being a volunteer to planning the whole event. so i was e-mailing parents for two hours asking for donations for the party. the kids are going to decorate cookies and goodie bags. the parents are supplying pizza, cookies, donuts, juice, candy, stickers, glow sticks for trick or treating and so much more. i am doing it all for my sweet little girl that made me cry when i saw her very sad in holiday party picture. i missed the opportunity to help with her christmas party at school for preschool and it crushed her, she asked me why i wasn't there. that week sofia was sick and i didn't have anyone to babysit her. and thankfully another mom took a picture of her for me because i wasn't there.

i'm going to take a nap and then get up and try to get some crap done. i'm going to update olivia's blog and then go to sleep.

it's 3:30am

it's 3:30am in the morning and i feel that if i write down my feeling it might make me feel better. i don't have a person that i can call and i feel so alone right now. i haven't had a conversation with my hubby all week and when i tell him i need things it turns out to be a situation. im awake with an ear ache and a tooth ache too. the whole left side of my head feels like crap. but even when i'm sick i don't get to rest or take a break. it's starting to make me an angry bitter person. i'm not very happy these days because i never to take care of myself. im falling into a deep depression and many times of the day i catch myself... SO I WROTE THIS ENRTY THE OTHER MORNING WHEN I WAS VERY TIRED AND OBVIOUSLY SICK. I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I WAS MESSAGING MY HUBBY ALL NIGHT AND HE WASN'T ANSWERING ME. FRIDAY MORNING HE HELPED ME FIND A DOCTOR TO GO TO AND HE WATCHED THE GIRLS. HE WORKED ALL NIGHT BUT HE HELPED ME OUT LATER BECAUSE I WAS IN DIRE NEED OF SEEING A DOCTOR. I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A DOCTOR SINCE SOFIA WAS BORN AND SHE IS 15 MONTHS OLD. I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO MY OBGYN SIX MONTHS AFTER SHE WAS BORN. I PLAN ON GOING WHEN OLIVIA IS IN SCHOOL IN TWO WEEKS. WHEN I WENT TO THE DOCTORS FRIDAY MORNING I FELT 50% BETTER JUST BY SITTING IN THE LOBBY READING MAGAZINES. I WAS SO STRESSED OUT I JUST NEEDED A BREAK AND THE STRESS WAS MAKING ME EVEN SICKER. I WAS SICK FOR 2 WEEKS SINCE THAT MORNING. THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I HAD FLUID IN MY EAR AND MY CANAL WAS SWOLLEN. I AM VERY HAPPY I WENT BECAUSE I HAVE A PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR AND I HAVE NOT HAD ONE SINCE I HAD A PEDITRICIAN AND THAT'S BEYOND HORRIBLE. I HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK TO TAKE CARE OF MY TEETH. I JUST HAVE A CONSULTATION TO GET AN X-RAY AND DISCUSS IF I NEED TO PULL A TOOTH OR HAVE A ROOT CANAL. MORE THAN LIKELY I WILL NEED A ROOT CANAL, BUT I CAN'T AFFORD A ROOT CANAL RIGHT NOW. WE DON'T HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TO TAKE CARE OF THE TOOTH. BUT IF THERE IS AN INFECTION IN THE GUMS I WILL JUST PULL THE TOOTH AND JUST TAKE CARE OF THE MISSING TOOTH WHEN MY HUSBAND'S DENTAL KICKS IN. I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW SERIOUS AN INFECTION IN YOUR GUMS COULD BE UNTIL I WAS PREGNANT AND HAD TO ET A TOOTH PULLED WITH SOFIA. I WAS CRYING FOR DAYS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT MISSING TEETH IN MY MOUTH. BUT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND I CAN ALWAYS FIX IT LATER. I PLAN ON GOING TO THE DENTIST EVERY 6 MONTHS EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE BECAUSE I FOUND A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET A CLEANING FOR 50 DOLLARS. AND THATS BETTER THAN WAITING AROUND AND NOT TAKING CARE OF MY TEETH. OLIVIA HAS DENTAL INSURANCE AND SOFIA WILL WHEN IT'S HER TIME TO SEE ONE.