would like something for me

i'm not in the greatest mood right now. i am just so annnoyed with putting myself last. i am tired, smelly, and i want to be left the eff alone right now. i am too tired to work out, i need to take a shower, get the laundry done, wash the dishes. i would love to run away from life for at least a week and not look back. but if i did that i would break my little girls hearts. they could cry for me in the middle night and i would be gone. i do so much but i never get any time for myself. i took olivia to school this morning and went back to bed when i got home. thank god sofia slept in or i would of had an emotional break down. last week was so hard to get through and this week just started and i don't want to go through with it. stupid me wanted to be a volunteer for olivia's halloween party. i signed up because it meant so much to her. i went from being a volunteer to planning the whole event. so i was e-mailing parents for two hours asking for donations for the party. the kids are going to decorate cookies and goodie bags. the parents are supplying pizza, cookies, donuts, juice, candy, stickers, glow sticks for trick or treating and so much more. i am doing it all for my sweet little girl that made me cry when i saw her very sad in holiday party picture. i missed the opportunity to help with her christmas party at school for preschool and it crushed her, she asked me why i wasn't there. that week sofia was sick and i didn't have anyone to babysit her. and thankfully another mom took a picture of her for me because i wasn't there.

i'm going to take a nap and then get up and try to get some crap done. i'm going to update olivia's blog and then go to sleep.